Monday, July 3rd, 2006

The days leading up to it were long and sad, though each hour seemed to fly by much faster than desired. We were edgy and irritable, or at least I was, for what was soon approaching was not something hoped for, in fact it was dreaded. And then it was here; all too soon and much too quickly. The day had finally arrived and it was time to face it as bravely as possible. Smiles were worn with sour attitudes and an attempt to make them as real as possible was made by both of us. It was strange how we acted; neither one of us really knew what to say to reassure the other and yet we both wanted so badly to cheer the other up. Lame jokes and one-liners were thrown out time and time again to try and change the tears of sadness into tears of joy, but to no avail. The drive there was short, I remembered it being longer. The parking fee was cheap, I had expected it to cost more. The check-in process was fast, I was sure we would be waiting awhile. Ten minutes left. No wait, it's time. My efforts at holding in my tears had stopped and they were now flowing with no regards for on-lookers. I held you tightly but had to let go too soon. I told myself I can do this knowing full well I couldn't. And that was it. And now you're gone. It has been 6 days and I would swear to anyone it has been longer. The days go by undisturbed, the evenings are quiet and spent at home. There is a peace I have not known in a long time, one that I now realize I can live without. I know you will be home soon, I know this is not permanent nor is it really this dramatic. But there is now an empty spot in me that belongs to you. And that is what hurts the most. Counting the days....only 14 to go. I love you.